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By Colleen A. McCann, MSW, LGSW 
Brain Sharing
Don't sit back and wait for your children to grow up because...
It Doesn't Work That Way!
Interaction with parents literally sculpts a child's developing brain. This process is called "interpersonal neurobiology" and has much to do with patterns of emotion and behavior that pass unconsciously between generations.
EXPERIENCE IS BIOLOGY! Childhood experience activates genetic expression and influences the formation of neural networks in the brain. Lack of emotional connection in childhood negatively impacts brain flexibility and emotional regulation in adulthood.
What You Should Know about Your Child's Brain
Brain development between birth and 3 years is significant and neurologically considered a "sensitive" period.
Confidence and resiliency in adulthood is linked to the experience of emotional connection with caretakers during infancy and early childhood.
Attuned parent-infant interaction is a right brain to right brain, two-way non-verbal communication in which the caretaker accepts, mirrors, and regulates the child's emotion.
Patterns of parent-child connection (or disconnection) pass generation to generation.
Sharing stories, naming feelings, and talking through problems with young children and teens strengthens the development of critical thinking (left brain) and helps teach regulation of negative emotion (right brain).
Stress in moderation creates resiliency, chronic stress and disconnection in childhood is correlated with physical and mental illness in adulthood.
Is It Too Late?
No one is a "perfect" parent – good enough will do. A moderate amount of stress, with resolution, builds resiliency and prepares children for the
real world. Breaks in attuned and emotionally regulated communication give parents the opportunity to say "sorry" and teach children that mistakes can be repaired.
Some parenting mistakes do have a destabilizing impact on a child's self-esteem and sense of safety. Consider working with a counselor to alter your parenting strategy if you commonly:
- Have outbursts of anger or frustration
- Struggle with low mood or depression
- Can't slow down or sit quietly with your child
- Scold or ignore when your child cries, gets angry, or shows weakness
- Personally feel overwhelmed by stress or relationship problems
It's Never Too Late
The good news is that brains can be "remapped" throughout the lifespan, both yours and your child's brain. Helping children build resiliency begins with parents mastering the ability to both "feel"
and "deal" with stressful situations. Sharing brains guarantees that your child is tuned in 24x7 and ready to follow your lead. About the Author...
Colleen A. McCann, MBA, MSW, LGSW is a licensed clinical social worker / therapist in Minneapolis MN. Colleen teaches clients how to break free of negative behavior & emotion and "re-wire" the brain for improved well-being. Last Update: 5/3/2007
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