|
By Barbara Monett, LCSW 
Help! He says what I want to hear but I'm not buying it! This is often the first words I hear when someone comes into my office. Let me tell you right off the bat – most likely, you are not as crazy as you feel! Many problems that people experience come in the form of an itch that can't be scratched. The situation isn't working, you're feeling disconnected, you aren't trusting yourself, you aren't getting any validation that really means anything to you. You're living in a world that doesn't seem real. These are all symptoms of the experience of a person who is often interacting with someone with narcissistic personality tendencies. Not wanting to get too clinical here, but there are about 8-10% of the population, according to some figures, most of whom are men, that behave in a way that would make a person doubt themselves over and over again. Why is this? Well, people who are narcissistic are incredibly self-centered, often unable to see another's point of view or care about it. They are notoriously disinterested in
you, even if at times they make statements or gestures that indicate that they are.
Can I change him? Now, isn't that the question that we all want to know the answer to? This is where a good therapist can be of utmost help. That's because a good therapist will be able to really help you figure out if changing him is in your best interest, even if it were possible. Just for starters, ask yourself these questions. Who does he remind me of? How do I feel about me around him? What's the balance like in this relationship? Am I really ready to ask these questions and find the answers to begin with? No doubt, all these answers are different for each individual so do yourself a favor, and get someone who can really understand and guide you into finding what to do next for the interest of all involved. Be well, trust yourself, see how a good therapist can help you make sense out of the nonsense. About the Author...
Barbara Monett, (formerly Barbara Thomas), LCSW has been practicing as a therapist in Santa Cruz, CA for over 20 years. Her training has allowed her to work successfully with individuals and couples who find themselves at a point in their lives where whatever was working just isn't working anymore. Last Update: 4/14/2008
|
