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By Crystal Glenn, M.A., LPCC, RYT 
Life is constantly throwing us curve balls. Just when we
think things are going smoothly, we hit a road bump. No matter how much we live
a positive and healthy life through meditation, diet, and exercise, we
inevitably encounter difficulties along our path. And, because everything is
impermanent, including happiness, we often find ourselves going through a
period of change or adjustment. Many people find discomfort when going through
change, and here are some ways to keep your head up.
Change comes in all shapes and sizes. You may be graduating
from college, starting a family, or learning a new skill. Perhaps you are changing
careers, relationship status, or addresses. With any of these experiences, you
may feel like you are living in "no man’s land” where uncertainty, anxiety, and
fear haunt you. Essentially, during these times you are trying to get your
bearings straight.
These experiences are known as transitions. During these
times, it’s very normal to feel a heightened sense of insecurity and weakened
self-esteem. You may also begin to see transitions as the in-between space – a
break from the past and what lies ahead.
Another way to perceive this in-between space is as a period
of reflection. We truly find out who we are as a person when going through a
tough time. It is through these obstacles we grow and learn.
"Stop the struggle and try easy."
I disliked hearing these words from my yoga instructor while
practicing a difficult yoga pose. Then, I began to see the relation between
this message and going through a tough time in my personal life. The yoga
instructor would follow up with questions like, "How do you want others to see
you while you are going through this difficulty?” or "What can you let go of in
this situation?”
It dawned on me that my yoga instructor might be on to
something. Life is too short to live in anxiety, fear, and anger when presented
with a challenge. When we try too hard, we are struggling with our difficulties
and we are not open to new possibilities. These tough times are inevitable, so
why not learn to maneuver through them gracefully.
Here are some tricks to help keep you sane when things go
awry.
Self-care
Increase attention given to your personal heath and wellbeing. Find your own rhythm and routine and stick to it as much as
possible. Your routine includes getting enough sleep to feel rested (7-9 hours/
night is recommended), participating in physical activity for exercise, eating
a balanced and healthy diet, and enjoying your free time. Also, try and
schedule one thing a day that makes you feel healthy and happy.
Give yourself
permission to do nothing
Start by marking off a period of time to dedicate to your
project. For example, if you are looking for a job or new home, decide how much
time is appropriate to conduct your search. Then, after you have spent the
allotted time with your research, take a break. During your break, don’t even talk
about your project. Instead, do something to take your mind off of it, something
completely different, whether that is a hobby, nature, or spending time with a
friend.
Letter of inspiration
Write a letter to your self from you in the future. Share
how great it is to be on the other side of the transition. When writing the
letter, imagine how you want your difficulty to guide you through this
transformation, and speak from this place. Then, describe what a typical day
looks like for you. Put as many details as possible in the letter to help you
visualize your next chapter. Use this letter to remind you of your journey and
that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Loving-kindness meditation
Practice a seated meditation reciting positive phrases to your
self. I invite you to use the meditation on loving-kindness by Jack Kornfield
in A Path With Heart. Say these
statements while focusing on your breathing.
May I be filled with loving-kindness
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.
Be open
During this tough time, keep your head up and be open to new
possibilities. Taking a different route home or a new gym class may introduce
you to what you have been missing. Perhaps you go on a job interview knowing it
is not the position for you merely for interviewing experience and meeting new
people. The possibilities are endless; you just have to be open to change and welcome
the uncertainty.
Review your success
stories
Recall past experiences where you were going through a
transition and how you managed to make it out successfully. It may be helpful
to write down these positive stories and remind yourself of your power and
wisdom when facing this new challenge. These past experiences may also help you
tap into a resource you missed. You may also find things do work out for you and
sometimes even better than expected.
When we learn to be graceful during tough times,
it allows for a more enjoyable experience. Trust that you will receive whatever
is perfect for you. And remember, this too shall pass.About the Author...
Crystal Glenn, LPCC, RYT holds a private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area. She specializes in providing individual counseling to adolescents and adults with a special emphasis in supporting those in the creative community and healing through yoga, mindfulness, and meditation. Last Update: 3/13/2014
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