As I reflect on what it means to be human in today's world, one fundamental aspect of life always comes to mind: connection. From the isolation of the pandemic to the shifting landscape of work, learning, and social interactions in our increasingly digital world, it’s easy to see how we can slip into feelings of disconnection. Yes, there’s science that supports the health benefits of human connection, but honestly, I don’t need research to validate my own experiences of isolation.
During the pandemic, I felt intense waves of anxiety, loneliness, and confusion. What was going on with me? Why did everything feel off? It quickly became clear: the absence of daily interactions with others was taking a toll on my mental health. My only company was my four-legged girl, Lulu, and the occasional meetup with a single friend. I was, for all intents and purposes, alone.
Even now, years after the pandemic, I find that being social requires more effort than being alone. The rise of remote work, online learning, and the convenience of technology means we don’t need to leave our homes for much anymore. We can have groceries delivered to our door, game online without ever meeting our fellow players, date through apps, work from our couches, and even get rides from strangers through our phones. Being alone has never been easier; all we need is a device.
I’ve often read about and watched documentaries on cultures where multiple generations live under one roof, and how these communities thrive—emotionally, physically, and socially. It’s fascinating, especially when we compare it to the emphasis on individualism in the United States. In our society, independence is often valued more highly than connection. As a therapist, I’m well aware of the negative outcomes of isolation—how it contributes to mental health struggles like addiction, mood disorders, and even physical ailments when the vital need for human connection is neglected.
But my appreciation for connection goes beyond theory. I’ve learned to cherish even the smallest interactions: a quick chat with a stranger in line at the grocery store, a friendly conversation with someone at a coffee shop, or a neighborly exchange with fellow dog parents outside. I’ve witnessed firsthand how clients improve when they have consistent people in their lives, people they can talk to, share with, and rely on. These small moments of connection can uplift our spirits and calm our nervous systems in ways that distractions and numbing behaviors never can.
Whether you're an extrovert or an introvert, one thing is certain: we all need people. Our mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being is deeply intertwined with our relationships. It’s through connection that we remember we’re not alone in this experience of life. And I, for one, will keep making small talk whenever I can—because I’ve never valued these everyday interactions more than I do now. The benefits of human connection far outweigh the convenience of solitude, especially when we have access to it so easily.
As I sit here in my favorite coffee shop, typing this post, I’ve already been greeted by three different people. The smiles I’ve exchanged with them are enough to remind me that, no matter how much technology advances, one truth remains: we need each other. It’s in connecting with others that we experience empathy, compassion, and love. It’s in these connections that we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us.
Learning to be independent is important, but independence doesn’t mean cutting ourselves off from the people and relationships that nourish us. It’s through a balance of solitude and connection that we live fuller, richer lives—experiencing the full range of emotions and human experiences that make life worth living.
So, how will you show up in the world today—connected, independent, or somewhere in between?
